Get Me Outta Here!

So, Magoo and Timmy the Tank - you FORGOT to tell me that they're nuts?????  All this talk about loving me and taking care of me and fixing my eyes and making me better, huh?  You won't believe what they did to me today.  I should have known it wouldn't be anything good when I had to put a coat on even though it was sunny and nice out.  So, I headed out for what I thought was a late morning walk and we strolled down to my field. 

I'm sneezing and coughing (and probably feverish and near death but they refuse to believe that) so I don't get to roam around the property any more.  It's out the door, up the path, down the driveway and into my field.  And what did I hear?  The clank of the gate closing behind me!!!!  Now, the FM always comes into the field with me, so she can supervise me and protect me from things like buzzards and chipmunks and deer and ice and wind and all those horrible things a person encounters out here in horse country.   Not today - she pushed closed that gate and walked away.  Far away.  And left me for dead.

I screamed and screeched to let the vultures know that I wasn't dead yet (even though I'm horribly sick and, as I mentioned previously, near death from my cold).  I howled and paced and wore myself to a frazzle, and still they left me there.  Five minutes, ten minutes, and finally they left me out there alone and starving and terrified and dehydrated for at least 93 hours. 

I've been abandoned here in the untamed jungles of New Jersey to fend for myself.  I heard lots of talk about fresh air and sunshine and stretching my legs (like I'm not tall enough already????) - I was scorched by the blazing sun and all my hair was blown off by the wind.  They're horrible and they're cruel and they're insane.

Finally, they let me come back into the house, and I crashed into a exhausted heap on my bed  I didn't even have the strength to gnaw on my bones.   My cold has probably turned into pneumonia and bronchitis and maybe even smallpox by now.  I'm sure of it.   Tomorrow I'm going to Google Bullmastiff Rescue and maybe somebody will come to get me. 

(Editorial note from the FM - Magee is just fine.  He did NOT die of exposure or starvation, and he was only outside for about an hour and 15 minutes and he doesn't have smallpox nor is he sunburned or bald.  He's such a drama queen.  He had three big meals and lots of snacks and several good naps.  He's a very good boy for all his various medications and ointments and drops, and he waits patiently while I clean his face several times a day and then put vaseline on his nose.  With just a few days of real eye meds instead of OTC stuff, there is a dramatic change in his appearance as well as his vision.  Take a look at his picture from today - his eyes are open and his face isn't nearly as swollen!)

 

I think we're making progress!  

Off to bed now so I can get some more beauty rest and maybe I'll feel better in the morning.  My cold really has me feeling droopy and miserable, but the FM insists that it's not fatal and I'll feel better soon.  Clearly, she's never had one herself.......but maybe I'll survive.

AhChooooooo, sniffle, snuffle,

Magee the Sick

(and abused)

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